One time, I took more pills than I can remember and accepted I’d be dead within the hour. Don’t ever call me weak.

-Michael Lee, Waking Up Naked (via fassadenmensch)


420 is so close I can almost taste all the bad jokes I’ll have to weed through

For almost 18 years you’re taught to sit down, shut up, and raise your hand. Then you have to decide what you’re going to do for the rest of your life.

-(via themilkywhiteway)


houston i have so many problems

If there is a God, He will have to beg my forgiveness.

-A phrase that was carved on the walls of a concentration camp cell during WWII by a Jewish prisoner (via xstayfocused)


main goals when going to a friends house:
-pet dog
-avoid parent
-don’t clog toilet